


all i ask you is to put one foot in front of the other and your hand in my hand

by random_hallucinations



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Implied Suicide Attempt, No Graphic Detail, Non-Graphic Violence, OOC percy, darker angsty Percy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25999936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_hallucinations/pseuds/random_hallucinations
Summary: In Annabeth’s mind she had already lived a thousand lives while she was living with her father. She had imagined a long lost relative showing up one day to whisk her away to live with them. She would finally have a family that loved her. She dreamed up a life with the son of the local store owner in the nearby town, falling in love and being the best housewife she could be. She even carefully recited the exact words she wanted to scream at her father if she were ever to have the courage to finally leave him behind.The one scenario she had never imagined was living in a castle with the third son of the king, a man whom she grew to realize was nothing like his reputation made him seem.AU....of some sort
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	all i ask you is to put one foot in front of the other and your hand in my hand

**Author's Note:**

> another (according to my find in tags since i know nothing about writing techniques) somewhat nonlinear narrative because I seem to only be able to write like this...
> 
> Titles from Serious ft Matthew Koma by Midnight Kids which to me is a very percabeth song.

Annabeth always hated the lighting in the library. It was always best during the day when the sunlight could aid her eyesight but in the evening the lanterns were hardly adequate. The pile of books stacked on the desk was getting ridiculously high, something Percy always made fun of her for. 

The library was Annabeth’s safe space. From the first moment Reyna had shown her the library, the castle had started to feel like home. She poured over as many books as she could those first few weeks, often falling asleep and waking with a sore neck. Books had been her only escape when she lived with her father and it had been an escape once again when Percy brought her to the castle. She had found it odd that the prince would have such a wonderful collection of books when, according to Reyna he never read a single one of them. 

Despite the usual comfort of the books around her, Annabeth could hardly concentrate. The king had made a brief visit which only meant that Percy would be in a terrible mood for the next couple of days. Reyna was usually the one to check on him, maybe calm him down if needed but she was out on a patrol with Thalia. Annabeth had found him staring out the window in his office, seemingly calm. 

“You don’t have to hover at the door.” He had always been good at knowing when she was watching him.

“I suppose since you haven’t destroyed anything yet that what your father had to say wasn’t as bad as the last time.” Annabeth could remember when King Poseidon had ordered him to kill some viscount for stealing from the crown. There was no definite proof, only the word of the king which Percy doubted was really accurate. 

Percy let out a sigh but his shoulders were still too tense for him to be alright. Though she wasn’t afraid of Percy anymore, Annabeth didn’t particularly want to be in the line of fire if he started to throw anything. She knew from experience though that if she waited and didn’t pry, Percy would tell her what was bothering him. 

“My father seems to think that it is time for me to find a suitable wife.”

Annabeth almost choked at his words. Percy was the third son of the king. Though there was a chance of becoming king and needing an heir, Triton was perfectly healthy and never put in any danger. Percy never seemed interested in marriage, though Annabeth had only been there a year so perhaps she was wrong. 

“That’s quite tame of a request for your father.” Percy turned sharply to face her, obviously still not happy with the request. 

“I’d almost rather kill the rest of the lower nobility than marry some woman he deems fit to be my wife.” Percy ground out. For some reason Annabeth felt disappointment at the confirmation that Percy didn’t want to marry. 

“Perhaps he’ll find you someone suitable.” She didn’t quite understand the intense look Percy was giving her. It made it hard for her to meet his eyes so she instead turned to his desk, busying her hands with tidying the many papers. She couldn’t understand how Percy got anything done when his desk was in such disarray. 

“My father never makes decisions that are suitable. They all stem from political gain in order to keep the throne by using fear.” Annabeth knew he meant by using him. She waited for him to continue but it seemed that was all he had to say. When she turned back to face him, he was still staring at her, an expression mixed with so many different emotions at once. “I don’t want to chain some woman to me for the rest of her life.”

Annabeth just gaped at him. As usual Percy surprised her. She wasn’t sure how to respond to that and it must have been obvious as Percy just sighed and turned back to the window. She was dismissed, she knew.

Annabeth had left him then to continue contemplating his father’s request but the conversation had bothered her all day. It was why she was spending her evening surrounded by words. Percy had saved her life. Perhaps at the time it didn’t seem like it but the past year had been the most stable year of her life.

In Annabeth’s mind she had already lived a thousand lives while she was living with her father. She had imagined a long lost relative showing up one day to whisk her away to live with them. She would finally have a family that loved her. She dreamed up a life with the son of the local store owner in the nearby town, falling in love and being the best wife she could be. She even carefully recited the exact words she wanted to scream at her father if she were ever to have the courage to finally leave him behind. 

The one scenario she had never imagined was living in a castle with the third son of the king, a man whom she grew to realize was nothing like his reputation made him seem. 

~

Annabeth had only felt true, paralyzing fear around Percy once. It had been the reason she was here now, living in his castle, their first meeting. It was also the last time she had ever seen her father. 

She had never realized how much debt her father was in. Apparently her father wasn’t running the manor correctly and he was bleeding money with each season which only added to his temper. Without her mother, Annabeth was the only one around to take the brunt of this anger. 

It became very apparent how badly they were in debt when a royal coach was outside their home one evening. Annabeth knew that she was going to be in trouble for being out too late but she had been avoiding her father as it neared the end of the season. His anger always peaked during this time. 

“Your Highness, I just need a little more time…” Annabeth had tried to hurry past the study doors but unfortunately her father had caught sight of her. 

“Wait! My daughter. Annabeth!” She wasn’t sure why her father was calling her in front of someone of importance. She was normally instructed to stay out of sight, to not tarnish the family name with her often rumpled clothes. Slowly she made her way into her father’s study to stand before a man she had only ever heard rumors of. Horrible rumors.

“My daughter...she’s of age. Please, take her. She can be payment.” Annabeth couldn’t believe her ears. Her father was really giving her away to pay for his debts to a man notorious for violence, for cruelty. Fear slowly creeped into Annabeth as she regarded the dark haired man in front of her. His face was somewhat in shadow but his eyes gleamed a dangerous sea green. Annabeth held her breath as he slowly stepped up in front of her. 

She tried to not look him in the eyes but a hand was brought to her chin forcing her head up. She was startled when she felt his thumb run under her right eye, gently at first but then suddenly he pressed down harder. Annabeth winced, the bruise from her father’s fist had almost completely healed, it had taken a couple weeks this time for it to mostly visibly fade but it still hurt under the pressure. It was almost impossible to not look him in the eyes now, to see such anger staring back at her. The fear inside her only spread until she could feel every one of her muscles on edge. 

It happened in a split second, one that Annabeth wouldn’t be able to recall later. Her father's screams though would stay with her forever. She looked with horror at her father’s hand stabbed through into his desk with a dagger. 

“Consider this payment for now.” 

Annabeth could recall hearing her father’s sobs as she was ushered out of her home. She remembered the numbness she felt as she was pushed into the carriage. But what she remembered most of that evening was the barely audible words of the stranger before her. 

“He won’t hurt you ever again.”

~

Annabeth hadn’t been a fan of Reyna at first. She was headstrong and obviously didn’t approve of Annabeth’s presence in the castle. Percy had put her in charge of getting Annabeth settled which also didn’t make Reyna too happy. 

Annabeth was still in shock as Reyna showed her around the place. It barely registered to her that her room was beautiful or that the castle itself was incredible. Reyna had given her a schedule of when they had their meals, who she could contact if she needed anything and that she wasn’t supposed to bother Percy. Annabeth had no intention of going anywhere near Percy. 

It hadn’t registered that Annabeth had spent days laying in her bed until there was a sharp knock at her door before it was unceremoniously thrown open without her acknowledgement. Reyna stood there with her arms crossed as two servants came in to throw open the curtains and set a tray of food on her side table. 

“If you wanted to starve yourself to death perhaps you should have told Percy just to leave you behind instead of wasting his time bringing you here.” 

Annabeth didn’t even respond. The usual fear gripped her as she wondered if she had been whisked away from one abuser only to be passed to another. Her body tensed more as Reyna made her way to her but she was surprised by a gentle set of hands pulling her up into a sitting position. 

“Please don’t make me spoon feed you.” The woman sat on the edge of her bed, bringing over the tray from her side table to place on Annabeth’s lap. As the smell of food wafted up, her mouth began to water and hunger finally registered. To say she tore the food apart would be an understatement. 

“Look, I know this is probably unsettling and I’m sure you don’t trust any of us but you’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you. And if they do you tell me and I will personally take care of it okay?” When Annabeth didn’t reply Reyna heavily sighed letting her head fall back in exasperation. “What do I need to do to help you? What can I get you? What do you like to do?”

“I like to read.” 

Reyna’s eyebrows shot up and Annabeth waited for her to either make fun of her or state how she was surprised that she even knew how to read. Those were the usual responses she got. 

“Well that’s perfect then. Percy has a whole entire library of books I don’t think he’s ever even touched.” 

Reyna had made her bathe and dress before finally taking her to this supposed library. Annabeth had maybe expected a room the size of her bedroom, sizable for a good amount of variety of books but instead she was blown away as she walked into a proper library. There had to be thousands of books.

“Jiles can help you if you’re looking for something specific. Somehow he knows where everything is, though just so you know, he gets quite upset if you mess up the order of things.”

Annabeth nodded though she wasn’t exactly listening anymore as she made her way to the first shelf.  _ On the Origins of War _ . Annabeth had never even heard of such a title. She didn’t even register that Reyna had left her and it wasn’t until a servant had approached her shortly after noon to remind her to attend lunch that she realized she had read the whole morning away. 

She brought the book with her, reading as she walked towards the dining room. Her mind in a far away place, Annabeth bumped into a rather solid body at the doorway of the dining room. A hand steadied her at her waist as she clutched the book to keep her place, ready to make an apology only for the air to be stolen from her lungs. The brief happiness from the morning was gone as fear began to rise again. Percy seemed to have noticed her discomfort as he removed his hand from her waist and took a step back. 

“I see you’ve found the library. I’m glad someone is finally putting it to use.” Percy gestured for her to enter through the door, and though Annabeth wanted to turn and run she forced out a breath before taking a step inside. 

Lunch seemed to be a buffet of sorts. Annabeth meagerly filled her plate despite the large quantity of food before sitting on the far side away from the head of the table. She barely sat down before Reyna and another woman entered talking quite amicably. Reyna laughed, which honestly surprised Annabeth, the sound fitting her and not all at the same time.

“Oh, you’ve finally decided to join us.” The black haired woman said. She had piled her plate full and took the seat opposite of Annabeth. With one glance at Annabeth and then at her plate, the woman reached over taking her plate before Annabeth could protest. She could feel her cheeks heat up in embarrassment wondering if she had perhaps done something wrong but before she could decide what to do, the woman returned Annabeth’s plate piled just as high as her own.

“You’re going to have to eat more than that if you don’t want to waste away.” 

“She doesn’t have to eat like a horse like you do, Thalia.” Reyna sat next to Thalia and to her surprise Percy sat on Thalia’s other side. 

“No one can possibly eat as much as you Thalia.” This seemed to earn Percy a smack on the arm which made a small smile appear on his face. Annabeth realized she was staring when his eyes met hers but she quickly looked back at her plate. 

Lunch seemed to go by quite quickly. Percy didn’t stay long, excusing himself back to paper work. Thalia and Reyna talked quietly, sometimes including Annabeth though after a few one word answers they left her to her book. 

It slowly settled into a routine. Annabeth would read in the mornings until reminded of lunch. She was slow to warm up to the two women but it soon became something she looked forward to. Percy didn’t always show up which was fine by her but on the days that he did make an appearance she found she couldn’t help but study him. His tone, his smile, his very infrequent laugh. This was not how she pictured the right hand of the king to be when he was at ease in his own home. 

~

Annabeth has had her fair share of injuries to attend to, mostly her own but she also helped the poor servants her father had also decided to unleash his anger on. The sight of blood didn’t make her squirm as much as it probably should though what she was looking at now did make her kind of queasy. 

Two days earlier a messenger had arrived and Percy had immediately left. Reyna didn’t tell her the details but she did seem to be more worried than usual which put Annabeth on edge as well. She had wandered down to the infirmary that night to maybe search for something to help her sleep when she was surprised by the sight of a shirtless Percy, blood running down his arm, trying to stitch himself up. 

“What are you doing?” Annabeth must have startled him as he whipped around towards her only to groan in pain. 

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” 

“I mean, why didn’t you wake the doctor?” The large gash on his upper arm didn’t look as bad as it seemed closer up but it definitely needed to be stitched up. “Here let me.”

“You don’t have to. I’ve done this myself before.” But Annabeth wasn’t having it. She filled a pan with clean water and pulled a chair up to his side of the bed. Gently she washed more of the dirt and blood away from the wound before taking the needle and thread from Percy’s hands and beginning to stitch him up. 

“Where did you learn to do this?” Percy’s voice was soft and when she looked up she had a feeling he already knew the answer and just wanted it confirmed. 

“I’ve had to stitch myself and some others up before. At home. But it’s always better if someone else does it.” She returned her attention to his arm and he let her work in silence. 

“What happened?” Apart from the moment they met and the rumors, Annabeth had never witnessed any of the violence and cruelty that Percy partook in. She had always wondered what was really true and based on this there had to be some truth to his involvement in violence. 

“My father needed a job done. Unfortunately this time the other person was highly skilled as well.” Percy sucked in a breath as she tied off the thread. 

“You mean you don’t normally come back bruised and all cut up.” Annabeth had surveyed the rest of him, only really light scratches and bruises were visible. She grabbed a salve and began to gently layer it on his wound. 

“I don’t want to scare you any more than you already are.”

She was about to retort who said that she was scared but she knew he would know she was lying. 

“It’s hard not to be scared when you’ve lived your whole life on the receiving end of anger and violence.” She finished bandaging his arm before looking at him. 

“I’m sorry I stabbed your father in front of you. You shouldn’t have ever had to witness that.” 

It had been the last thing she ever would have thought of him to say to her. Deep down she hoped her father was okay even though she also thought he deserved it. Sometimes in her nightmares she could hear his screams and it was slightly unsettling that she now lived with the man who caused them. 

“You don’t have to apologize for doing your job.” Apparently it wasn’t the right thing to say as Percy’s expression turned dark and closed off. Percy stood suddenly, pulling his arm from Annabeth’s hands. She hadn’t even really noticed she was still touching him. 

“Thank you for your help but I can take it from here.”

Annabeth stood slowly watching Percy clean up the mess around them. With his back to her she could see old scars, some clearly from being whipped. Her eyes drank in the expanse of his skin, reading it like the many pages she enjoyed in his library, except this story was more tragic. 

“Why do you do it?” His muscles tensed before he slowly picked up the clean shirt at the end of the bed. He struggled slightly to put it on before turning back towards Annabeth. 

“My father and brothers are cruel men that happen to have all the power in this country. They can’t understand kindness. They find the way of running my manor, of the requests I ask of them from time to time, a weakness. But they’re clever enough to know that if they indulge me that I will continue to do the dirty work. To protect these people.”

“The common people hate my father as they should. They can complain about the high taxes, the treatment in the mines, the inadequate supplies to our merchant ships. But their fear is left for me. Even though my father ordains it, I’m the one who comes to collect.”

“You do all this so that the people here are safe?” Annabeth had noticed that the servants here were less servants and more like friends. Reyna and Thalia spoke to them as equals. They were given well maintained homes in their small town. They were given medical attention when they needed it. It was strange and yet it worked.

“Charles, my blacksmith. My father had taken his father’s farm when they refused to pay the higher tax. I was supposed to break his father’s arm but instead I brought them here. They tend some of my land in return for some crops going to feed us here in the castle. My father was furious but I promised that I would obey his next order if he gave me this.”

Annabeth could only imagine what the order had been. Based on Percy’s expression he wasn’t going to tell her. Realization seemed to hit her then.

“What did you have to do for my father’s debt?” Annabeth didn’t know exactly how much her father owed but if Percy had been sent then it had to be an extraordinary amount. He hadn’t taken anything but herself from her father’s manor that day. Unless he had returned without her knowledge. She looked up at him then, meeting his conflicted gaze. There was a sadness there that she could almost feel herself being suffocated with. 

“My father is dead isn’t he?” The realization that her only known relative in this world was gone hit her at full force. She was truly alone. Even after all he had put her through, all the pain and fear, he had been her father. She didn’t know how to feel. Relief seemed wrong just as much as it would to fully grieve his loss. 

“I didn’t have a choice. I can only save so many people.” 

“I understand.” Percy had stepped forward but Annabeth moved away. It was more out of habit than anything and she hated the defeated look on Percy’s face. “I just need time to process.”

She had woken to Reyna barging into her room as usual. She had returned to her room after the night’s revelations but she hadn’t been able to fall asleep until the early hours of the morning. Bleary eyed, she watched Reyna pull back the curtains and then flop down on her bed. Annabeth was still getting used to this change in their relationship. The other woman didn’t seem to hate her anymore, though she probably hadn’t really in the first place.

“He told you.”

“That my father’s dead? Yes.”

Reyna sucked in a breath as her brows furrowed. 

“That he killed your father.”

Annabeth turned her head to look at the other woman. She had never been very good at deciphering other people’s expressions towards their true intentions. She could plainly see the worry but she wasn’t exactly sure if the worry was for her or for Percy.

“Yes, though I’m not sure why you made that distinction.” 

“You’ve slowly been coming out of your shell here, trusting us, being comfortable with this being your home now. But now you also know that Percy killed your father. Most people hold grudges, blame him for it even if by doing so Percy has made their lives better or is trying to at least.” 

Annabeth turned back to staring at the canopy of her bed. She had given this some thought already. She didn’t blame Percy for anything. He had even said he was just the messenger. If anyone was to blame it would be the king. 

“Percy is just the weapon his father uses to keep people in line. It’s no different if the king had killed my father with his own hands.”

“It is different. Percy still has to make the choice. They’re awful choices but he still has to make them and he also has to live with them.”

“Are you trying to make me hate him?” 

“No. I just want you to understand. I know it’s a lot to take in and that you need time to think about it.” Reyna sat up and made her way to the door. “But don’t think I won’t drag you out of bed if you try to waste away again.”

~

Annabeth hadn’t wasted away. In fact it didn’t take more than a day before she was back to her usual routine. The first lunch had been tense but Thalia had cracked a joke which made Annabeth laugh and it seemed everything was back to normal. 

There were days where Annabeth left the confines of the library to sit out in the gardens. She had often escaped to the woods near her father’s manor to read but she had never done so because of a fondness for nature. Sometimes though it was nice to soak in the warmth from the sun and listen to the buzz of bees flitting from flower to flower. 

Apart from the gardener there weren’t many people ever in the gardens, which of course made Annabeth’s curiosity get the best of her when she noticed the hushed voices. 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” 

“Do I?”

“You know I love you Thalia. I always will.”

Reyna’s hand came up to caress Thalia’s face, leaning her forehead against the other’s. 

Annabeth knew at that moment this was definitely a private moment she should not be eavesdropping on. She was stepping back, not as carefully as she should have as her palm came in contact with the thorny rose bushes. A small yelp escaped her mouth, which made Reyna whip around. 

“...I was just...leaving.” Annabeth turned and walked as quickly as she could before settling into a run. She could hear Reyna calling her name but she didn’t stop until she was back in the library, trying to catch her breath. 

“You run a lot faster than I thought you could.” Reyna was leaning easily against a bookshelf as if she hadn’t just chased Annabeth in all the way from the gardens. They waited there in silence as Annabeth avoided Reyna’s eyes by starting to clean up her table. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” 

“It’s okay.” For a surprising moment Annabeth watched as Reyna’s posture changed into something less confident, a matching expression of something so wrong for how Annabeth knew her. “I don’t want this...I hope that you can keep this to yourself. And I hope this doesn’t...change anything between us. For both Thalia and I.”

Annabeth just blinked at her. 

“Why would things change?” 

Reyna’s brows furrowed. “Most people aren’t accepting of us which is why we try to keep this to ourselves. I thought that was why you were running away.”

“I ran because I thought you’d be angry that I was listening in.” Annabeth could remember when she was a child and her curiosity had gotten her into trouble. She had of course learned the hard way that listening in on her father’s meetings meant a hand to the face. Annabeth hadn’t really processed what she witnessed, more the fact that she had been caught. Reyna sighed heavily before sitting across from Annabeth.

“I’m not going to hurt you because you happened to hear and see something you shouldn’t have.” 

Annabeth knew that. Or at least she tried to convince herself that that was true. 

“I know.” Annabeth reached out then placing her hand on Reyna’s. “And nothing is going to change. You and Thalia are my friends first and foremost.” 

“And Percy? Is he finally considered a friend?” 

Annabeth sighed. Percy and her had been interacting more but it was more like stilted conversation and awkward glances. 

“You know, Percy saved Thalia and I just as he did you. Thalia and I have known each other since we were children. Our father’s had been business partners and we were often left together while they discussed business. Neither of us wanted to be married off to a nobleman. We wanted to learn to fight and shoot like Thalia’s brother. Her father didn’t approve but we would sneak out and spar.”

“We had snuck out to spar one afternoon but we had lost track of time. Thalia’s father had come looking for us and when he found us...he started to drag Thalia away. I tried to stop him but he was a big man and I didn’t know all that I do now.”

“I thought he was going to take her back home but instead he had decided that Thalia was too much of a nuisance. He was going to kill his own daughter and I couldn’t do anything to stop him.” 

“Percy never said why he was in the area. He was just suddenly there, pulling Thalia and I back towards the road. We all heard the rumors. I thought we were going to die. But he brought us here. He taught us how to properly defend ourselves. He gave us a home. A safe place. He talked to us as if we were equals. And we became friends.” 

Annabeth didn’t know why Reyna was telling her all of this. From the months of living here she had learned many people’s stories of how Percy had helped them in some way. Percy was like a saint to these people. 

“All of the people here have similar stories. They almost worship him because of it. But he doesn’t need disciples. He needs friends.” 

~

She arrived maybe a week after Poseidon’s visit. Annabeth had been attempting to spar with Thalia and getting beat every time. Her muscles were quite sore from the practice sword but it was a welcome soreness she almost enjoyed. 

“Not bad. You’ll be able to beat Reyna in no time.” The mischievous grin on Thalia’s face as she looked over Annabeth’s shoulder made it clear Reyna was watching. Reyna scoffed. 

“It appears the suitable future wife has arrived.” Annabeth almost dropped her sword. She knew it was inevitable but she hadn’t thought it would be so soon. Reyna was watching her carefully but she pretended to be gauging the weight of her sword in her hand, readying for another sparring match. 

“Hmm. Guess we should find Percy before he ruins everything with his broody attitude.” Thalia swung her sword up onto her shoulder. “Guess we’ll pick this back up later. I’ll teach you all of Reyna’s weak spots.” 

Annabeth didn’t know what to expect honestly. The girl was timid, her eyes never leaving the floor, startling with every word directed towards her. She supposed that it was similar to how Annabeth herself was like when she first arrived. 

To his credit Percy tried to be as polite as possible. He kept his distance physically, tried to make polite conversation and made sure she had everything that she needed. 

It made Annabeth realize that that was just how Percy was. They had left behind the awkward stilted conversations months ago, but Percy still kept a distance between them. She hated it. She wanted to be able to jokingly hit him like Thalia or touch his arm in reassurance like Reyna. She wanted to sit beside him in the library, not watch him from her seat as he paced or leaned against a bookshelf. She hated that this woman would eventually be the one who would garner his affections. It was this thought that had plagued her mind since their midmorning meeting. 

Since Thalia had agreed to teach Annabeth how to fight with a sword, Annabeth had found another way to get away from her overactive brain. While reading allowed her mind to be filled with far away thoughts, the practice forms allowed her brain to completely empty. 

Sometimes the best time to practice was late in the evening. Sometimes Thalia or Reyna would find her, continue giving her tips or just simply watch. But this evening she was alone. She ran through some warm up movements eventually changing into the solo drills, practicing entry and follow up strikes. 

“Your training is coming along nicely.”

Annabeth had been concentrating so intensely his voice had thrown her form off. She scowled at Percy as he moved out from the shadows. 

“It doesn’t feel like I’ve learned anything other than how to swing a sword back and forth. I don’t think I’ll be able to win a sparring match let alone save myself in a real fight.” Percy seemed to be giving this some thought as she lifted her sword again to return to the drills.

“Swords give you the extra length which a woman’s shorter arms would definitely need. Always use a sword when you have the chance. But when it comes to all possibilities, a lighter weapon like a dagger may be all you have time to grab.” Percy pulled a dagger from his waist alarmingly fast. “I’m not saying to stop training with a sword. But they should teach you dagger skills as well. It could save your life in real world situations.”

Annabeth, feeling bold perhaps from the adrenaline of exercise, walked to the weapons and picked out a dagger.

“Or you could teach me.”

Percy studied her for a second before a slight smile spread across his face. 

“Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?” Annabeth swallowed nervously at the look on Percy’s face, confidence waning with every moment. She hated how lately every look made her insides flutter. Every time he visited her in the library, every time he sat across from her at meals, she couldn’t help savoring every moment he gave her. 

“I mean if that’s too hard for you I understand.” Annabeth internally applauded at how even she kept her voice but she couldn’t help the smile on her face when Percy laughed. It was so rare to hear the sound, rare enough to be the cause. 

The resulting lesson left her almost more confused than she had been before. Percy was up close, showing her how to block and parry and where the best openings would be. Annabeth tried to concentrate but afterwards she realized what she remembered most was his hands guiding hers and the softness of his voice. When it came to actually sparring Percy easily disarmed her with a smirk that she scowled back at. She would have to get Thalia to teach her Percy’s weak spots.

~

Percy had always made it clear that Annabeth wasn’t a captive. She could leave anytime she wanted, with his support. It had maybe been a couple months after she arrived when she stumbled on the maps section of the library. The castle was the farthest she had ever been from her father’s manor but the books had opened her eyes to all the places that she could now possibly visit. 

She was looking at a map of the eastern foothills, other maps strewn across her table, when Percy made his presence known. It had become a routine for him to pop in from time to time, at first just asking if she was finding everything okay and now to just converse about whatever topic she was reading about that day. 

“I wondered when you would find the maps.” Annabeth smiled, seemingly missing the tinge of sadness in Percy’s tone. 

“I suppose it was inevitable. I’m sure I’ll go through this whole library. You might have to get more books before long.” 

“Looking at anywhere specific?”

“I mean, I’ve never been anywhere. Like what is the ocean like? The beach? The seaside towns?” Annabeth wondered if the merchant ships were as large and grand as the books made them out to be. “What about the Gardens of Alcinous? Or the temples of Delphi? There’s just so much out there that I’ve only imagined in my head.”

“The world definitely has magnificent things in it.” 

Annabeth laughed.

“So eloquently put.”

They spent the next couple minutes in silence as Annabeth made a list of all the places she wanted to visit and Percy moved maps and books that she was finished with. 

“You know if you want to visit these places you can. You aren’t a prisoner here.”

“I know, as you continually remind me.” 

Annabeth counted it as a win as she noticed the small smile on Percy’s face. 

“Was living away from the capital part of your agreement with your father?” After the night she had stitched up Percy’s arm, Annabeth found that she was allowed a personal question every now and then. She had to gauge his mood and even then sometimes he simply refused to acknowledge the question. Percy seemed to be okay with this one.

“Yes. I was never fond of the capital and it was too large for me to keep track of all the people I was shielding. For once Triton actually agreed with me, more for the fact that it was less we had to see of each other.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing the capitol some day.” Annabeth pulled out a drawing she had found showing the sheer size of the city, grand buildings built into the cliffs along the many tiers making up the lower half of the city. Atop stood a magnificent citadel. Annabeth could only imagine what it would look like in real life.

“It is impressive, if only in architectural achievements and strategic planning when it comes to warfare tactics.”

“That’s probably the most put together sentence I have ever heard you say.” This earned her another smile, one that actually transformed his face. Annabeth found she liked this side of Percy, one that was comfortable to joke with her as he did with Thalia and Reyna. Reyna was quick to point that out too, that it had taken years for him to open up to them but only months with Annabeth. 

“It’s known to happen from time to time.” 

“Do you ever go back? It always seems like King Posiedon or his messengers come here.” 

“I haven’t been to the capital for a couple years. I really only go when there is an event of significance that my father wants me to attend. Or if I need to argue with him over something important.” Percy held up the same drawing, scrutinizing it. “I do sometimes miss the chef. He never cared about what I did, just that I liked his food so much.” 

Annabeth was hoping he would continue but it seemed that was all she was going to get about Percy’s younger days. She had never outright asked him about his childhood mostly because at some point those scars on his back were a part of it. Reyna had only told her that he never talked about them.

“If you ever wish to go just...you can always go if you wish.” Percy did his customary bow of his head before departing, leaving Annabeth slightly confused at the suddenly empty space. She supposed she would have to apologize for pushing him later.

~

Perhaps the fates had been looking kindly on the girl, Annabeth wasn't sure. It wasn’t maybe a half an hour into dinner Reyna came crashing through the dining room doors. Annabeth was startled at the sight of blood on her hands and immediately stood. Percy joined her as well.

“I’m fine. It’s Cilia. Will is tending to her now. I believe she’ll be fine.” Despite the confidence in her voice Reyna’s expression was troubled. 

Dinner was forgotten as Percy followed Reyna out. Annabeth was left to wonder as she tried to help clean up the table only to be reprimanded again that it wasn’t her job. Instead she found herself wandering the halls, to only be startled by the obvious sounds of destruction. She made her way towards Percy’s office.

Annabeth hovered at the door as usual. This time unfortunately there were papers all over the floor and his desk was overturned. His stance was similar to the last time though, staring out the window with his arms behind his back. 

He didn’t acknowledge her as she carefully began to pick up the papers. She wasn’t strong enough to put his desk back upright but she stacked the papers off to the side and began to pick up the broken fragments of his chair. 

“Just leave it.”

“I don’t think Marne enjoys cleaning up every time you destroy your office. I thought they had found a desk that you couldn’t overturn but obviously it needs to be bolted down.” Annabeth continued to pick up the pieces until strong hands grabbed hers.

“I said just leave it.” Annabeth could feel a splinter digging into her hand but she couldn’t move away. This moment reminded her of when they first met, his thumb pressing under her eye, his own eyes wild with anger and sadness and a tiredness she couldn't fathom. But that’s where the parallels ended as Annabeth watched those eyes fill with unshed tears, his grip loosening until the splinters were hitting the floor at their feet. 

Her hands moved on their own accord cupping his face, wiping the tears that were now starting to fall. She pulled him into the tightest hug she could manage, his arms hesitant to reciprocate but were soon clinging to her just as hard. She could feel his tears soaking into her shirt at her shoulder and her own threatening to fall. 

“This isn’t your fault.”

This broke the hug and Annabeth was momentarily confused at how she had gone from holding Percy to being five feet apart. 

“How is this not my fault? She would rather have died than be stuck with me. What does that say about me, Annabeth?” Before she could respond Percy continued. “It says I’m a monster. And I am. Do you know how many people I’ve murdered? How many fingers I’ve cut off, how many arms and legs I’ve broken?”

“And how many people have you kept alive? How many people outside of these walls go to bed every night thankful to what you’ve done for them? You say you can only save so many people and that you do what you do to keep them safe but you don’t believe it. All you see is the terrible bits. You’re not a monster. You’ve been given impossible decisions and you’re trying to make the best choice possible.” 

“Everytime I look at people I see who I had to hurt for them to be here. Every time I look at you I remember your father’s pleas to spare his life. I see the fear when I first met you, when I first meet everyone. Do you think I don’t see it?”

Percy had turned away from her now, his hands continually running through his hair, but Annabeth wasn’t going to let him run away. She pulled him back into a hug, not so desperately tight, but she was willing every bit of comfort into it.

“No one can possibly understand what you have to do. But you are no monster. Not to me.”

There was a sharp knock at the door before Reyna stepped inside. Her eyebrow raised at the sight of them but she didn’t say anything. By the amount of distance Percy put between them when he stepped away from Annabeth nothing was going to be said. 

~

Tension filled Annabeth over the next couple of days. Percy holed himself in his office, Reyna being the only one he let in. Annabeth wasn’t sure how to take that as she replayed that night over and over in her head, remembering the feel of holding him, of realizing how much she cared about him. She busied herself as usual though, architecture books strewn across her table in the library, scraps of paper with her scribbled notes and rudimentary designs stacking up higher and higher each day.

It was maybe a week later when Percy found her in her corner. She felt his eyes on her more than heard him, but was content in letting him quietly watch her than break the uncomfortable silence. Eventually though he broke the tension.

“What happened to your list of all the places you wanted to see?”

Annabeth’s heartbeat picked up with his words. She still had the list but it hadn’t really been of interest in the past couple of months.

“It’s somewhere among these piles I’m sure.” 

More silence fell between them and Annabeth longed for when he would tease her about her sloppy handwriting or the amount of books she was reading at once. 

“I’ve put together supplies and a couple trusted men. They can escort you around to anywhere you would like to go.” 

“And what if there isn’t anywhere I want to go?” Annabeth tried to continue drawing the columns she was designing but her hands were shaking. Percy was still somewhere behind her, which she was grateful for since he couldn’t see her face. 

“You can’t just live through these books. You should see the world, see and experience other things than...this.” 

Annabeth closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning to face Percy. He was standing farther back than she thought, somewhat in shadow, but in the light enough to see he was deadly serious.

“Are you ordering me to go?” Annabeth said in barely a whisper. 

“I think it’s for the best.” Annabeth’s heart was crushed with the finality of his words. She knew Percy had no interest in her but she had never thought that he would send her way. 

“If that’s what you wish, your highness.” She stood then and bowed before she hurried out of the library. She had been fine with seeing Percy’s tears but she wouldn’t be able to handle crying in front of him. 

~

“You don’t have to go.” Reyna was sitting on her bed as she watched Annabeth filling a suitcase of her things. She had come here with nothing and now that she was leaving she hadn’t realized how much stuff she actually owned. 

“He doesn’t want me here.” She had gotten all her tears out the first couple hours and now she was moving on a numbness that she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“He’s not thinking straight.”

“It’s fine. Perhaps he’s right. It’s better this way. I mean you thought me being here had been a bad idea the moment I arrived.” Annabeth knew that was a low blow and she regretted it the moment it was out of her mouth but she supposed that it wasn’t just Percy she would mourn losing. Reyna and Thalia had turned into good friends. It was at that moment the latter chose to crash through her bedroom door.

“You are not leaving.” 

Annabeth just sighed. 

~

She was standing outside the gates looking up at the castle for the last time. Reyna had helped her pack up her remaining things, Thalia refusing to help and angrily stomping out on her. Annabeth hoped that she would return to actually say goodbye but she supposed a clean cut might also be easier. 

Reyna hugged her tightly and Annabeth tried to savor every second. She looked up at what she knew was Percy’s office window but she was too far away to know if he was watching. She doubted he was anyways. 

“Tell him...tell him that he is worthy of being loved. That I…” Annabeth didn’t finish the sentence. She could feel the tears starting again and she didn’t want to cry in front of Reyna. 

“I’ll tell him.” Reyna hugged her once more before Annabeth forced herself into the carriage. She waved weakly as the carriage started away from the only place she ever really felt at home. She kept her eyes on it until the turn in the road made it impossible to see and the finality hit her.

“I love you.” she whispered out to no one. 

**Author's Note:**

> The end.
> 
> Not really but it did seem like a good place to stop and as I am abysmal at long chapter stories this will only be two parts. Hopefully.  
> Also I know this isn't a seriously historically accurate AU but I started this without thinking about researching anything and was going off my childhood love of Arthurian legend and Robin Hood. Not even close to the same time periods I know...so I apologize.  
> Did I picture the capital city like Minas Tirith...maybe. This is all just a hot mess.


End file.
